{WAHM-On getting it all done- and letting it all go}

Sometimes, on particularly crazy mornings, I glance in the mirror and wonder for a split second who will play me in the Lifetime movie. Not in a vain I think my life is drama worthy kind of way, but more in the way that well meaning people tilt their head to the side and say ‘oh, yes she was a sweet girl before her head exploded’.  And that’s exactly where I was this morning- on the verge of a full on brain explosion.

I woke up to the wind. Blow you off the front porch wind, and a preschooler who was freaking out. Then the storm warnings came, though luckily not for us- yet. Then I remembered she’s star student this week and guess who forgot to pick up snacks and juice boxes over the weekend? Moi! And who said to hubby yesterday, when he offered to go get them at lunch time, that I would pick them up on the way to school at 8am? Moi! And who drug two wind blown babies to the grocery store in the rain this morning? Are you getting the picture?  I also wondered why I didn’t take a minute to lay out my outfit for the morning when I was laying out the kids clothes last night. Why I hit the snooze three times instead of rising with the hubby to have our morning coffee un-rushed? Why I didn’t let the hubs go grab snacks yesterday when he offered? This morning, I had no one to blame but me for the explosion in my head.

People frequently say to me, when talking about the kids, the business, the deployment, I don’t know how you do it. And often its accompanied by very kind words of praise that make me wiggle in my seat in a whole new kind of uncomfortable. I want to scream, who me?? If you only knew! My kids just ate macaroni and cheese for the third time this week {because that’s all they’ll eat and I’m just too tired to argue} the three year old is no where near potty trained because she is absolutely, positively refusing to even try, the baby needs a bath, the car needs washing, the laundry is piled in the closet, I didn’t hit the treadmill last night, my office looks like a tornado hit it, the carpets need to be cleaned, the paint on the walls needs to be touched up, I haven’t fed my hubby a home cooked meal in four days or had on makeup in three…

And then there are those days like today. The ones that start out so rough and then something happens. I let it all go. Baby B and I come home after dropping off sister, he lays down for a nap and I make some breakfast.  I open the fridge and see that I remembered to thaw a roast for dinner tonight. I plop dinner into the crock pot and congratulate myself on not having to cook tonight. I toss in some laundry, start the dishwasher, do a quick sweep of the toys downstairs and then I sit down in our quiet house with the laptop and knock out some work that’s been piling up for weeks. And for a split second, I feel like that girl they’re all talking about who gets it all done. The one who has it all together and under control.  And then I let it all go.

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